R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
