Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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