You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
