that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
