I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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