Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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