there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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