i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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