i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
