shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Porn is love you can see.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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