This dress was meant to end up on your floor
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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