She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
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