One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
