is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
do herpes really smell.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
