you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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