Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
