I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
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