ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
