He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
