dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I could fuck to npr.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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