Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
