I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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