her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
