i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
How external is "for external use only"?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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