What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
