Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
