i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
