all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Randomize