Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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