GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
