is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
