She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
