no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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