I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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