I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
