I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
