why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Randomize
