Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
