my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Randomize
