It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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