ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
just come out here and I will go home with you...
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize