Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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