if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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