I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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