$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
