My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Randomize
