God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
