Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
