It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize