i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize