i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize