Banned from zoo.
Again?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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