you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
