I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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