fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
