i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
our cab driver is having phone sex.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
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