im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
