Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize