It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize