the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
