You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
