Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
